My Daemon~!



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Sometimes you can never know what you are doing. After what I have done, there’s no turning back. I wished I could go back the past and change everything back to normal but that is impossible to do. Probably that is my destiny and fate, so I have to face it no matter I like it or not. A lot people had advice me to go on with my life and time will solve everything. I hope that true.

I had lost 2 best friends of mine. One of them, I had know her for 8 years. The memories I had with her are great and wonderful. I treat her as my own sister even I didn’t treat my sisters like that. I had given her a lot of advices about life and her boyfriend but now I unable to give that kind of advices anymore. Now we both go on with different path and I hope she will succeed in her life. I didn’t hope much but hope she will be tough to go through with life challenges.

Another best friend I lost is my heng tai. I know him since Form 3 in a tuition centre. We always hang out and laugh around. He knows what in my mind and I know his too. When ever there an outing or basketball, we won’t forget to call each other. We also go for yam cha and gossip around. But now all is over and it won’t back to old times. The memories we had I won’t forget forever.

Thanks for memories that you both had given me. I don’t think I will be seeing u two for the time being. Good luck in your future if you two are reading my blog. I don’t hope to be forgiven and I glad I had u both as my friends.

I don't know what the heck is wrong with me these few days. I'm lost in darkness. I'm thinking of suicide again and i really wan to do it badly. Wonder how world like if I doesn't exist. Could it better or still the same? I think it will MUCH better without me. I just couldn't believe I done. I lost 2 best friends of mine and it will never recovered. I unable to forgive myself anymore. My opinion, I doesn't deserve a second chance. After 17 years of living, I found a jerk inside me or i could say a BASTARD!
Life is not a longer useful for me. I had lose my faith in living and no strength to keep living. It just like dropping in a deep dark hole and couldn't climb out and there no one willing to help me. I just waiting for death to bring me to hell I suppose. I don't deserve a place in neither heaven or earth.

I officially declared myself as

SAMPAH MASYARAKAT!

So long n farewell!

Hmmm.. Today i didn't work.. Stay at home at morning doing nothing beside online and that so freaking bored. Actually didn't wan to go to IELTS workshop due to something happen yesterday but then got people pujuk me to go workshop. Since i already spend RM 270 on the workshop, so dun wan to waste it, have to go also lo.

As usual, took 2 bus to go Subang Jaya because the workshop held at IDP Australia jus opposite Talyor College, main campus. Then drop at Sunway Pyramid and walked to IDP. I know is quite far but im used walking like tis and can sweat more. Haha. The workshop started at 2pm, ended at 5.20pm. The workshop was interesting and eventually didnt make me sleepy at all. Last time i think IELTS test was so hard but now i realise its not tat hard actually and i think i can reach my min marks which is 5.5. Got a thick book for me to read, so im gonna read it tomorrow morning to pass my time. Hehe.. Im looking forward for tomorrow workshop. Hehe.

After workshop, went yam cha wit my friends. Chit chatted about tis sat outing. Apparently most our gang ppl cant go on sat, so the plan switch to sun. Have to waste my credit again. Jus top up 10 bucks yesterday and now left 2 bucks. Haih. Gonna be broke soon. Nvm la.

Weekend is always boring days if didnt go out. Stay at home only do 2 things beside eat are sleep n online. Haih!

BORED!!!

Next whole week im not working. Got IELTS workshop to attend. Z.z Have to travel all the way to Subang Jaya. Crap. Nvm la for sake of my future.

Aiya! There nothing for me to update since nothing happen really happen. Later i upload sum pic ba. Hehe.

ps: miss her so much!